2021.10.24 16:38 RiderOnTheStorm1970 Jerry Was A Race Car Driver - Primus guitar cover
2021.10.24 16:38 National-Sprinkles30 Girlfriend [19f] of 1 year went on a walk alone with her male friend, whom she had a major crush on. Why am I feeling insecure?
My [19M] girlfriend [18F] (long distance) went on a walk alone with her male friend (who she had an obsession/crush on in a few years ago but said she lost feelings after she got rejected and lost attraction shortly after but they remained friends. She told me she was CRAZYYYY about him and stalked him a lot - although that was a few years ago). She did this for a while before playing tennis with him (and some other guy friends). When I told her I felt insecure about the walk, she got angry and said why and that I have to fix my insecurities (I've been insecure in the past and asked her too many questions because I used to overthink*** - which she thought implied I was doubting her) because she can't deal with those. I told her I'm trying and she said it's not enough. She said me feeling insecure affects her a lot negatively and she can't keep dealing with it (I said she doesn't have to I will deal it myself). She also told this male friend some time ago that serious relationships are too stressful and he shouldn't get into them. She said this after we had an argument about something stupid.
It started (well not exactly) when I told her that I stalked a male friend of hers because of my insecurity earlier in the relationship (near the start) (she flirted with this guy and accepted his "date" proposal and then back off saying she has a boyfriend, this guy then called her a cheater and then she said my bf knows about this conversation anyways - which I didn't, I found out by snooping - which is wrong I know). I felt insecure, this guy was really rich and ripped, I was kind of fat during that time. I basically stalked his comments to see how she reacts to his pictures and I got into a habit of doing this whenever we had arguments. And I did it recently after more than 2-3 months and told her I did that.
She didn't talk to me the entire day and at night talked about my insecurity. Then she told me will I feel insecure if she told me about something and then she told me about that walk with her male friend. I told her that we can't go on walks like that so I felt jealous and insecure (we're in long distance for more than 7 months and her mom is really controlling and doesn't let her out of the house or let us meet until recently after our "break up"). She laughed and said so whatever I do with my friends I have to do with you as well (and then said "not that I don't wanna walk with you")? I did not tell her to not go on such walks or not talk to her friend. I just told her I'm getting a little insecure (she said I'm being VERY insecure). But she got really angry and said that I shouldn't feel insecure and asked me to give a reason of me feeling insecure or she won't talk to me. And then she told me to fix my insecurities or she won't talk to me at all. Today we decided to take a break and she wants me to work on myself and my insecurities and fix myself.
She also said a lot of times that my insecurity is because I don't trust her which I don't think is true. I know she won't do anything wrong but I still get insecure? She does have a history of cheating on her only serious relationship before (and another guy) and I did have problem with this in the initial stages of the relationship but I have never made her feel bad about it (she says she deeply regrets cheating and that she has changed ever since we started dating). She also asked me questions like what if she posts a picture on her insta with a male friend of hers, who let's say is really hot like abs and all and I get to know through the picture that they went out together, how will I react?
We're on a break right now and she's sending me articles to help me fix my insecurities and keep talking "as friends" until we get back together.
*I get insecure because I've read how people who do activities together (especially physical activities like exercise and stuff), release dopamine and endorphins, and the brain associates that with the person they're doing it with, and that develops feelings (of attraction). This is also my first relationship so maybe that also contributes to my insecurity? Also my parents have an abusive relationship and I've seen a lot (physical, verbal, threats, silent treatment, separation for a while) since I was a child (earliest incident I remember is when I was 7-8 and my dad hit my mom)**. I've read a lot that this can make a person insecure and affect their future relationships. Could this be the reason? When I shared this with my girlfriend she said it was a stupid reason and she doesn't believe it.
**I've told my girlfriend about these incidents. I told her that a lot of times when my parents fight they call each other crazy and mad and stuff like that and I asked her to not say those during our arguments because it triggers memories. She said it recently during our argument and I reminded her of it but she said she knows but she had to say it. Earlier in the relationship I told her I fear becoming like my dad, and during a fight (our fights weren't this complicated that time, it was over stupid stuff) she said that she thinks I'm like my dad (she knew about plenty of incidents at this point). She said that it was in anger.
***I stopped asking such questions a few months back, I still used to overthink about some little stuff (much less frequently than before and I did my best to improve after we talked) until a more recent fight of ours almost 2 months ago where she said she can't deal with this and so I didn't do so for more than a month. I didn't ask any questions, or overthink anything at all. She recently broke up with me some time ago (and later said it was a break and that she got angry) because of the above mentioned overthinking (I fixed the overthinking and asking "doubtful" (according to her) questions - in my head, I just ask for too much clarification***** and I don't actually doubt her, but she felt this way when I asked her questions trying to clear things. She either got irritated or defensive**** (like why are you asking that, why do you wanna know)) so I stopped asking questions like that. So I decided to fix those things (I didn't do any of that for more than a month) and she said she couldn't "believe" that I changed, and that if I didn't do those things (overthinking over little things) for a month, how can I guarantee I won't do it in the future? She said I need to fix my overthinking small things and asking her questions about it (which I stopped doing - I still overthink a little but I know how to not indulge in those thoughts). She also said I have to stop asking her questions like at what time did she sleep yesterday and what she was up to, which we used to do everyday. She wanted me to fix my sleep schedule (I told her I'm feeling stressed because of applying to universities and all). If I fix these things she'll get back with me. We started dating again last week.
****She started talking to one of my male "friend" who I got in touch after a long time. This friend, gave my gf his number and told her to text him if she wants to talk since his insta is not working (this isn't true because he is highly active everyday. This guy also sent her a lot of memes (and he used to not send me any). It was clear he wanted her number, they had just started talking and all he knew was that she was my gf (he has also joked about stealing people's gf and causing breakups). She didn't tell me this. For about a few months, this male friend showed interest in my gf a lot and asked stuff about her. I told her about it and that I don't wanna be friends with such a guy. She said I'm being overprotective because I'm overthinking. I stressed a lot about this and shared with her but she said I'm overthinking and I need to stop. I asked her if he showed any interest ya said something odd or something, she said I'm overthinking. A few months later she tells me out of nowhere that this friend gave her his number. She said it's okay because she didn't actually send him a message and only saved his number - which I have no idea why she needs (she said they only share memes like once a week). I told her that she should've told me before and why she didn't tell when I was stressing over this (and instead told me I'm overthinking). Then she got defensive and said so what if she didn't tell me and when I asked her why she saved his number anyways, she said so what if she saved his number and I was like what?
*****When we started dating, she texted her ex (who she was serious with before me - not more than 1-2 years ago) telling him "cute" (replied to a childhood photo of his). When he called her cute back, she got into an argument with him (and send me the ss of everything). I later (quite a few months later - we were talking about something and it came up) asked her why she even replied to his story in the first place and she said "idk" and then started getting irritated when I asked her to clarify.
I know a lot of my behavior is toxic but I'm trying to fix it but I don't know what else to do. I'm probably just making excuses about my behavior but I really want to fix myself? Why am I like this? Please help
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2021.10.24 16:38 Watcher427 Headpats are the sexiest thing on planet earth
2021.10.24 16:38 Cello4419 What do HR/ recruiters think about career change candidates?
Background story, I worked in academia for 4 years, with an unhappy experience and not much transferrable skills. Then I did a masters program with internship options included. I had such a hard time finding internships compared to the recent grad classmates, and I figured it was due to the extra 4 years I had compared to someone who is fresh. Fast forward to 2021, after I completed 2 internships, graduated and landed my first job, I finally had enough filled space to push the academia experience off my resume. I do notice that I get more calls for interview when I hid the date of undergraduate graduation, and not mentioning the academia experience. Should I keep doing this and save the trouble in explaining the career change reason? If I do get the question of when I graduated undergrad and hence the gap in employment, how should I go about it? Also, what would make HR pick someone who had undergone career change over a candidate that has a normal career trijacetroy? Thanks
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2021.10.24 16:38 thrifrtrash Recently pulled umbreon vmax secret alt art, but it has this pink dot on the back of the card. What does this mean?
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2021.10.24 16:38 GreyWalken 50. Little Axolotl
2021.10.24 16:38 my-eye-candy-account Precious Beauty
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2021.10.24 16:38 dhporter [Bill Madden] I’m hearing as a prelude to a likely lockout by the owners Dec. 1, the winter meetings in Orlando are being cancelled
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2021.10.24 16:38 RobinsonDickinson can i drive my parents car on their insurance in new york?
2021.10.24 16:38 IdoRovitz Anyone else can't play legends with their friends?
2021.10.24 16:38 iagom Do u guys think The Dawn gives kiss land vibes?
moth to a flame gave me kissland vibes idk if just me. I think kiss land It's ahead of its time and maybe bc of that I'm seeing similarities now but maybe I'm just tripping.
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2021.10.24 16:38 Yellomelw Truth
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2021.10.24 16:38 letsgopharbz all my old posts getting upvoted 4 some reason
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2021.10.24 16:38 bringbackoldreddit1 Maybe I should just do it.
2021.10.24 16:38 Tinytina722 Licensed survivor survey results part 1
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2021.10.24 16:38 TheFakeDogzilla We fooked up
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2021.10.24 16:38 ballerrr123 Is this appendicitis? How do I know if the appendix burst? 25 male 6’3 165 pounds.
Pain started in the naval area, then moved to the lower right abdomen, very painful to touch. Couldn’t fart nor poop, had to be in a very special position on my right side in order to pass gas. Pain has happened for about 36-40 hours now and it’s slowly going away, I’m able to fart and everything still slight pain.
I’ve been told by family once the appendix bursts pain decreases. No fever or flu like symptoms just the pain and it is slightly sever.
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2021.10.24 16:38 diomenico Little opinion on this ITALIAN Star Wars: Return of the Jedi Omnibus (read first comment)
2021.10.24 16:38 Nullomer Do plant unlocked upgrades stay unlocked through ascensions?
As in, if I unlock Ichor Syrup, is it available to purchase after ascending without farming any Ichorpuffs, or do I have to pick them again to unlock it?
submitted by Nullomer to CookieClicker [link] [comments]
2021.10.24 16:38 oceangirl310 20F 🖤
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2021.10.24 16:38 Hirnfick Not bad for some niche euro sport
|submitted by Hirnfick to formuladank [link] [comments]|
2021.10.24 16:38 Kramples Is it me or Blight music sounds like from stalker soc?
2021.10.24 16:38 cheesyn00dles123 optometry students needed
I am looking for a current optometry student, my WIST (women in stem club) is holding a pannel and we need an optometry student to answer a few q&a questions. please message if interested the event is on novemeber 4 2021 from 5-7:30 MT.
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2021.10.24 16:38 Vvininin https://t.me/teenheaven